Battle: Walmart

So we're here!  We have a place with furniture in it (an ordeal in itself and unbloggable because it was so awful.  Here are some words to sum it up: late, movers, angry, security, hole, in, our, wall, cockroaches).   As you may remember from my last post, Matt and I had recently acquired a [free] 13.88 lb turkey.

(one more time)

However, after the Great Move-In of 2011, Matt and I may have had furniture, toilet paper, and an awesome pool, but we did not have anything with which to cook a turkey (or anything else).  The solution?  Walmart's Black Thursday Night Sale at 10:00.  They advertised most of what we needed (pans, towels, vacuum, etc) at very low prices and we were drawn in.

So while many of you were planning lovely Thanksgiving Dinners and sending me pictures of your deliciously taunting Thanksgiving Dinners, Matt and I were planning our Assault on Walmart.  This is the account of our day:

0800 - We wake up and dress for recon operation.

0900 - We arrive at Walmart to scout out our primary and secondary targets and to establish starting and rendezvous points.  I will be placed strategically between the 2-inch memory foam mattress pad (primary) and 600-thread count sheets (secondary).  Matt will be poised at the Paula Dean Pots and Pans Set (primary) and will grab a queen comforter set (secondary) on his way to Rendezvous Point A (20-pc Pyrex Storage Set)

1100 - Work out at our fitness center (preparation for later)

1300 - Hang out at our pool.  [Note: While there we saw a double rainbow and ran upstairs to take a picture.  One broke up, but here's what I got of the other one from our lanai:

]

1600 - We kill some time until 2030 - wander around Honolulu looking for a Chinese place that has crab rangoon, fail, eat a fancy Thanksgiving Dinner of Jack-In-The-Box Takeout, watch some Misfits.

2030 - PLAN BEGINS!  We park the car down the block and around the corner from Walmart, facing home.  We walk into Walmart and behold the beginning of mayhem.  People are everywhere, walking into other people and ramming things with their carts.  All of the advertised specials are in the middle of the main lanes, cling-wrapped so people can't access them until the sale starts.  I start to get nervous.  I don't even like grocery shopping.  I want to abort the mission.  Matt tells me to grow up and the mission is still on.

2100 - I take my position at the corner of the pallet of memory foam mattresses. 

2102 - I realize that I am in the coveted position of the inner circle [read: closest to the stuff].  Friendships and alliances are attempted, people start bargaining with me and offering trades for pillows and other things.  I keep my eye on the prize.  Queen sized 2-inch memory foam mattress pad.

2110 - This sucks.

2120 - Only TEN MINUTES have gone by??

2130 - The seasoned veteran to my left takes out her box cutter in preparation.

2140 - A wave of hysteria runs through the store as the sale starts 20-minutes early.  The veteran with the box cutter cuts enough of the plastic to take her 2 foam toppers and escapes.  I get pushed to the floor as people around me scrabble at the plastic wrap, on the floor I see the queen pad I'm looking for.  I wait for people to do the heavy lifting around me then grab it.  I AM AWESOME.  Inspired by my first success I move to my secondary target.  I AM AWESOME AGAIN.  Matt and I rendezvous at the sheets and I see that he too has been DOUBLY AWESOME.  I go on a successful solo mission for the Pyrex and we make our way through the mob of people to the checkout.

2150 - Matt and I arrive at the checkout.  Third in line.  We realize that we have 10 minutes until they will start checking people out.  Fueled by adrenaline, I rush back into the fray and emerge victorious with a Bissel Vacuum.

This is a fraction of the crowd at checkout:

Here are our spoils:

My leg wound:

2203 - Matt and I are checked out and walking back to the car.  We walk by at least 500 people waiting to get into Walmart.  The line of people continues around the block and people keep adding to it.  As we are walking with our spoils, people in the line are whispering jealously "The pyrex...he got the pyrex" and "Bisselllll....".  Very creepy.  We walk faster to the car and hope we don't get mugged.

2210 - We don't get mugged.  We successfully make it to the car.

2220 - We are safe at home, celebrating our WIN at Battle: Walmart.

In other news, this is what Matt drives at work:

(hehehe)

Here are some beautiful flowers outside of our place:

Here is a better picture of our view from our lanai:

Finally, your bad joke of the post:  I went for a job as a gold prospector, but it didn't pan out..