Disaster is a Dish Best Served Twice... (Narrated by Matt)

So, where are we? It seems Christina has led us to the cliff of the story, I suppose I will take us the rest of the way down.  

First, let's take a step back. One important detail Christina left out of our first day on the island, is the rental car experience we had when we got to the Big Island. We did have a reservation for a car (Chevy Aveo, yeya!) but we had to change the drop off location - so I was expecting disaster in the form of major charges. Much to my surprise, the car rental place was very accommodating, and because it was my Birthday they even upgraded us to this:

2011 Mustang Convertible



So - at this point I am lulled into a false sense of security. I think to myself, "Self, looks like things are about to turn around for us. After having to wake up at 2:30 a.m. and then having to pay $130 to change our flights, and then having to wait for our bag because it got mixed up - I thought, these are just things of the past. Only good times ahead." That was a bit optimistic on my part, because in that moment I had forgotten Christina's greatest super power: she can spill or break anything at any time.

Back to the present time, we had just filled two 64 ounce growlers with terrific, amazing, delicious beer.




Like this, minus the leaf.


I am excited, it's Birthday beer. Everybody loves Birthday beer. All I have to do is drive us back to the hotel, and then enjoy said beers. So, we come to the end of our 35 minute ride back to the hotel, and at this point Christina lets up her guard. She had been in charge of the ever important, and apparently impossible, task of holding the growlers and keeping their precious cargo (beer) safe for the ride home. As we go to take the left into the hotel, Christina decides to whip out her Iphone, probably to see what's happening on cracked.com or look up something girly on pinterest.com... A moment later, as I am completing the final left turn on my long road to beer heaven, I hear the most dreaded sound possible. The sound of glass clinking together. And not the clinking of a joyous toast, but clinking with a hint of shattering... I decide that what I think is happening, cant possibly be happening. So I ask my dearest Christina, "What was that?" At first she doesn't respond, but then, ever so calmly replies "...It broke." Fear and panic set in. "Both of them?" I ask in terror. "Just one..." she says. "Probably the good one," I think to myself. I pull over, and ask Christina how much of the beer spilled on the floor. You see at this point I hadn't admitted to myself that the entire growler had just spilled onto the floor of the 2011 Mustang convertible I was driving. I thought maybe only the top broke and half a glass worth had spilled. Guess what? The bottom broke out, so all 64 ounces were pooled at the feet of our beloved Christina.

At this point, I would like to tip my cap to Ford, and if I might be so bold offer a suggestion for their 2012 model. Although it is nice that this area of the car is completely sealed, they may want to consider offering a "Christina" model, in which a drain can be opened in the occurrence of a self inflicted disaster.

At this point I have transitioned to triage mode. I ask Christina what we can do. She responds by panicking, and throwing her Iphone into the previously described 64 ounces of beer... we have officially hit rock bottom.

I'll spare you the horrific details of how we cleaned this up. In short, 2 full rolls of paper towels, an entire bottle of febreeze, and a much needed shower washing of the passenger side mat later - the car was still in bad shape. Keep in mind this was day one, so we cleaned it everyday after this, and it still smelled like my old fraternity's common room on a Saturday morning up until the day we returned it...

And so, a fitting PUN for the lovely Christina. "Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder."

Stay tuned for "Disaster: The Second Course."