Once Upon an Amazing, there was an Angry Korean Lady...

"It is very seldom that you stumble upon a place that leaves you at a loss for words and even questioning reality." - Brian V. from yelp.com.

So, recently Christina and I stumbled upon something fantastical (is it a word? you're actually wondering now...). We were perusing yelp.com one night hoping to find a restaurant for some quick take out when it happened - yes it was a lazy moment for us - please don't judge. Instead we stumbled upon an opportunity. What some might call a "game changer." Ah Lang - a local Korean restaurant. The above quote is what initially caught my eye. Obviously. As we read the reviews, we discovered that Ah Lang is really known as "Angry Korean Lady" or AKL. From what we read, it was called this because the restaurant is owned and run by one person - An Angry Korean Lady. AKL apparently makes the best Korean food in town, but at a price. If you dine at Ah Lang you must bus your own table, get your own water, sometimes do your own dishes, and live with a few F-bombs and being insulted or nicknamed (more on that later).

Needless to say, I was insanely excited to make this happen - I love food, and I love doing dishes after a good meal. We decided to go ASAP - so a few days later, on a Saturday, we made plans with a couple of friends (Betty and Chris) to see what this place was really like. The reviews warned us that AKL was an angry lady - especially when customers didn't bring her beer. Even when given beer, she is apparently very angry. In order to take the edge off (yes we were nervous) we all had 3 beers before heading out, and brought 18 beers to get through dinner. Thankfully this scenario finally answered the age old question for me: is 6 beers per person too much to plan for? Apparently not...

We walked into Ah Lang at about 7:00p.m. The "Closed" sign was on the door, but it was unlocked so we went in anyway. We had read that AKL closes whenever she wants, since she runs the show, and beer is the only thing that could even possibly change her mind. We entered to find 6 tables. 5 of which were seated with customers - but no one was talking or making any noise. This is when I realized we were in a "tight spot." I started to get a little more nervous. One of the customers sitting by the door didn't help when she said, "You should probably go. She just put the closed sign on the door, and is in a very bad mood. No one has brought her beer yet tonight." Now, I like to think of myself as a problem solver, so at this point it was a simple math equation. Angry Korean Lady + Beer = Less Angry Korean Lady? That theorum hasnt been proven or accepted by the scientific community. Luckily the 3 beers propelled Chris and I into the kitchen, which was bigger than the restaurant. Inside we found a little Korean Lady - who greeted us with a "What the F#$* do you want?" To which we replied, "Can we please stay for dinner? We brought beer?!" AKL responded, "You stay, you go bus table now! Then sit down!" So we bussed the empty table - and sat down. At this point I was starting to get courageous (read: drunk) and thought I would bring AKL a beer as she looked hard at work in the kitchen. She promptly told me to get the F out, and to go "suck down some beers." So we did. Next we put an order in to the kitchen (which we wrote down on the provided server pad and brought to AKL - she is not a server - don't make the mistake of assuming that). And then we started talking, laughing, and drinking - unlike everyone else in the restaurant. The fear in the room was palpable. Since AKL is the only employee we had to wait for the other 5 tables to be cooked for and served before AKL even started our meal. This means lots of beer without food (except for the awesome, free, Korean BBQ chicken appetizer that AKL gave us).

Eventually we were the only people left in the restaurant. AKL brought out the most amazing Korean food, and even spoon fed us some of it. (Spoiler Alert: I think she ended up liking us) During the meal AKL nicknamed me "Super Haole" (super foreigner/super white-guy) because apparently I use chopsticks like a brain-damaged T-Rex. According to Betty and Chris, who used to live in Korea for 2 years, the food was "legit" and "even better than places in Korea."

After dinner things got a little more serious. AKL started bringing out booze - Soju to be exact, which is essentially vodka light. She had several different kinds, including a Guava Soju that she had distilled herself for 7 years, and Soju distilled with ginger root. Thus began the shots. Soon AKL started making us hurricane shots, which are Soju mixed with beer and swirled dramatically so that they look like a hurricane in a glass. Then she broke out these magical Korean tiles that we played "Jan-Ken-Po" (Rock Paper Scissors) to while betting, heavily. Somehow we won $50. Soon we were very drunk. Christina had an especially rough go, as she tried to out-drink AKL... Also, did I mention we went out and got another 12 pack?

Awesome Korean card game.

AKL making Hurricane shots.

AKL mixing Hurricane shots while standing on a chair...

We had to stop for a break, so that's when the dishes started. I washed every single dish in that restaurant with AKL, and it was awesome. Except when I almost severed one of my fingers on the last, and sharpest, knife in the sink. Dont worry, AKL put a Band-Aid on my finger and called me a "Stupid Haole" to make me feel better. While working, we talked about her family, her restaurant, and how she started out. If you ever find yourself on the island of Oahu, you should visit AKL and listen to her story. She is awesome.

We stayed until after 2:00a.m. Yes - Seven. Hours. Of. Awesomeness. AKL started making us food again, but we were all way too deep. We ate a salad, and then had to call it quits. AKL hugged us all on the way out - and I might have told her that I loved her... In the end, I probably didn't do this night justice. Brian was right, words can't really explain and we all woke up the next day questioning if the night before had really happened...



Here's pun for the road: "We carried the Soju over our heads because we needed to lift our spirits..."